Are You Wasting Your Life Living Other People’s Programs?

Are You Wasting Your Life Living Other People's Programs?

Did you know that we live 95% of our lives led by the beliefs of the subconscious mind, and that 70% of those beliefs are negative? By the time we reach the age of 7, we have downloaded and installed a set of programs and beliefs from our parents that become our software for the entirety of our lives, unless we change them. Our subconscious is the part of our mind that stores our emotions, memories, skills, instincts and behaviours, as well as running biological functions.  If we are trying to change anything in our lives with the conscious mind, and it goes against our previous unconscious conditioning, then we might as well conserve our energy. Basically, to be blunt, those early programs will direct the course of your life, whether you like it or not. The Matrix movie was totally on the game, either we...

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Anxiety & Fear – What Is The Truth?

Anxiety & Fear - What Is The Truth?

As people it is quite easy for us to create a whole convincing reality in our heads. How do we know the difference between the actual truth and ‘a truth?’ When we experience anxiety, it is relatively simple to respond to that uncomfortable feeling from a negative perspective. By default we automatically go into fear, we convince ourselves that something awful is going to happen, since anxiety was a response to and created from unpleasant past experiences. We will naturally gravitate to our default setting, a defense mechanism that was put in place by our subconscious as a way to keep us safe, that is its job and it will carry out the task at hand regardless.

The subconscious knows nothing about linear time and is still respond...

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Are you your own personal bully?

Are you your own personal bully?

I imagine most people would agree that bullies are a nuisance, and that’s putting it mildly. I’m sure at some point in our lives, we have all experienced being bullied, intimidated, coerced and victimized, and I think we would also agree that it doesn’t feel good. In fact, it can stir up some very uncomfortable feelings, ranging from indignation, fear, sadness and hurt. Some of us will come out fighting, and other’s may retreat and just hope that the person responsible will eventually leave us alone. As a way of coping with the stress posed by this external threat, albeit an individual or group, we may try to be overly nice to compensate, or seek ways of remaining safe, by being hyper alert and trying to anticipate their behaviour. In doing so, we end up compromising ourselves, creating incredible ...

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Are You A Validation Addict?

Are You A Validation Addict?

When we feel the need for constant external validation, maybe it is time to start asking ourselves why that is. This applies specifically to women, who may regularly elicit attention from men to feel special, worthy and attractive. In fact, some of us can take this to an extreme, where we seek validation, using our feminine charms and sexuality to be ‘seen,’ noticed and approved of. This feeling of power gives us an instant feel good ‘hit,’ which never lasts, because ultimately it doesn’t reach in and validate who we are as people. So, we are off on our search again, longing and yearning for that magical person to give us something that for some reason, we are unable to give ourselves. That search will eventually lead us back to ourselves, because it is a dead end on a road going nowhere. We are ...

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The Law Of Attraction & Hypnotherapy

The Law Of Attraction & Hypnotherapy

Ever wondered why the Law of Attraction is not working for you in your life? No matter how many times you ‘think’ about your ideal life, somehow nothing changes. Do you believe that magic seems to happen for other people and not you? If only it was as simple as they all make out, all you have to do is think, daydream, be and act happy and your life will change! So after consistently trying over a period of time, you may still find yourself at the starting post, with nothing but a new pair of shoes to show for your deliberate effort. Eventually you may lose hope and decide that all this positive thinking doesn’t work for you. However, there is a reasonable and logical explanation. When it comes to creating significant change in our lives, it is essential that we have our subconscious minds on our side...

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Whatever The Mind Can Conceive, The Mind Can Achieve

Whatever The Mind Can Conceive, The Mind Can Achieve

“Whatever the Mind Can Conceive, it Can Achieve.” Napoleon Hill

This is a wonderful quote, and one that might ring true for some and not others. Many of us may want to believe that we can achieve our dreams, but after years of concerted effort could well be airing on the side of despondency, frustration and disappointment. We all have dreams, often big dreams, but may feel deep inside that we don’t have what it takes to reach them, that we lack that magic ingredient that successful people have naturally cultivated.

How many of us have been taught in our younger years to dream big, to go for what we want, to fulfill our deepest desires? Not many. Some of us may have been fortunate enough to have very positive parents, but sadly most of us didn’t, for some this has created more of a leg...

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Those New Year’s ‘Saboteurs’

Those New Year's 'Saboteurs'

Many of you will have made New Year’s Resolutions, and I’m sure you were determined and steadfast in your absolute conviction that you would carry them through. But as the weeks pass, you can feel yourself waning with a never ending stream of justification as to why you are unable to keep on track, with exercise, healthy eating, reducing alcohol intake or all three.

You may well feel that sense of despair, disappointment and frustration, because there is a part of you that was absolutely convinced that you meant business this time. You declared it to all those around you, because you felt in that moment that you could trust yourself that nothing would get in your way. But it has, and you may well be wondering what went wrong. Well, let me explain about your ‘saboteur’.  There are di...

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When You Risk Nothing, You Risk Even More

When You Risk Nothing, You Risk Even More

When I started my career as a Therapist, I was always on the lookout for a model of therapy that was safe, effective and relatively fast. I wanted to find a way to work with clients that didn’t require endless costly hours of psychotherapy. I knew there was intrinsic value in talking therapies, for self reflection, support and awareness, but in terms of deep healing at a core level, I was unsure. In my own experience I know how enticing it can be to ‘talk story.’ Talking story allows you to stay in a safe, familiar place, without risking vulnerability, exposure and feeling those difficult challenging feelings that, let’s face it, we would all rather avoid.

We can go to great lengths to avoid feeling, from overe...

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Eyes Bigger Than Your Belly

Eyes Bigger Than Your Belly

I think we’ve all heard of the term, ‘eyes bigger than your belly’. We observe the mountain of food on our plates and wonder where we are going to put it. Our ‘eyes’ are merely reflecting our head hunger, and have nothing to do with the amount of food we actually need, and what our stomachs have the comfortable capacity to hold.

I know I’ve sat in many restaurants ravenous, waiting for the food to arrive and then practically inhaling it as if at any moment the waiter might come and snatch it away! I would then ignore that evident extremely full-feeling and order dessert, knowing there was not an inch of space left in my already expanded stomach. Followed by guilt, remorse and the determination to never do that again. I’m sure we’ve all been there!

Sometimes it takes fe...

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Get Slim The Easy Way

Get Slim The Easy Way

“There is no diet that can do what healthy eating does”.

This is a very true statement, and one that has been my mantra for my weight loss clients as far back as I can remember. I have seen many clients here at Zoë Clews & Associates, who initially arrive disillusioned after years of one disappointing diet after another.  What I call the ‘The Great Diet Delusion’ is sold in such a way that many people spend decades caught in the loop, believing that the latest new fad is the answer to their weight loss prayers, only to return to their previous habits after realising that it’s simply not sustainable.

The problem with dieting is that your subconscious often has another agenda: to t...

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