Have you been wondering whether you might be autistic (ASD), ADHD, dyslexic, or neurodivergent in another way? If so, you’re not alone, and you’re probably not imagining things. Many people reach adulthood sensing that their brain works a little differently, but without ever having the language or support to explore it further.
As a neurodiversity coach and integrative psychotherapist at Zoe Clews & Associates, I regularly work with clients who are navigating this exact journey. Whether you’re ND-curious, newly diagnosed, or unsure what a diagnosis might mean for you, this guide will walk you through the process, what to expect, and how to advocate for yourself with confidence.
Self-Diagnosis vs Formal Diagnosis: What’s the Difference?
Self-diagnosis refers to the process of a person identifying with a neurodivergent identity, such as autism spectrum disorder (ASD), ADHD, or dyslexia, based on personal reflection, research, and community input. Many people come to recognise neurodivergence in themselves after reading about it, watching content online, or speaking with others who share similar experiences. For some, especially those who’ve faced barriers to accessing healthcare (e.g. due to race, gender, class, or past trauma), self-diagnosis is a valid and empowering way to name their experiences.
Formal diagnosis, on the other hand, involves an assessment by a qualified medical or psychological professional, such as a psychiatrist, clinical psychologist, or other specialist team. This typically includes structured interviews, standardised tools, and developmental history. A formal diagnosis can provide access to medication, workplace accommodations, and educational support, and may carry more weight when advocating for adjustments in institutional settings.
Both pathways are valid, and one isn’t inherently ‘better’ than the other. Clients often describe either route to discovering their ND self as a profound turning point in their self-view. No longer ‘too much’, ‘not enough’, or just ‘weird’, but as someone who processes the world differently. Your path depends on your personal context, your needs, and what you are looking for from the process.
Formal or Professional Diagnosis
Some people find clarity through self-diagnosis and never feel the need to seek formal validation. Others require a professional diagnosis to access support at work or in their studies.
A diagnosis can be a validating and even life-changing experience. For many people, it offers a long-awaited explanation for why certain parts of life have always felt more difficult for them, or simply different. It can give language to the challenges you’ve faced, as well as the parts of yourself you may not have recognised as part of your neurodivergence.
When you’re working with a therapist or neurodiversity coach who takes an affirming approach, this process of self-understanding can be deeply healing. It often serves as a foundation for rebuilding confidence and developing more supportive ways of living, working, and interacting with others.
A formal diagnosis can be helpful in conversations with friends and family, particularly if they’ve been dismissive or unsupportive of your self-identification. While you don’t owe anyone proof, having a recognised diagnosis can provide a sense of legitimacy that some people find easier to understand or accept. It can offer a language that makes it easier to explain your needs, boundaries, or experiences, and to start building more affirming connections.
In many cases, a formal diagnosis is required to access accommodations at work, additional support in education, or treatment such as ADHD medication. However, you do not need a formal diagnosis to access neurodiversity-affirming therapy or specialist support like ADHD coaching in London, autism coaching in London, or other targeted interventions.
NHS vs Private Pathways: What Are Your Options?
NHS Assessment
The NHS offers diagnostic assessments for ASD and ADHD, but waiting lists are long, often exceeding 18 months to two years. The benefit is that it’s free and often includes post-diagnosis support pathways.
Private Assessment
Private assessments are faster and can often be completed within weeks or a few months. Costs vary widely but often range from £800 to £2,000, depending on the provider and whether the assessment is for ASD, ADHD, or both. Some employers or insurers may contribute to the cost if it’s impacting your work.
Considerations When Choosing
- Look for specialists with experience working with adults.
- Ensure assessments are in line with NHS standards if you want recognition within the healthcare system.
- Consider aftercare, will you receive;
- a follow-up report confirming the outcome,
- recommendations
- referral pathways
- Does your GP accept shared-care agreements with private specialists?
What To Expect During an Assessment
ADHD Assessments
Typically involve:
- Standardised questionnaires. Completed and returned in advance of the assessment
- A detailed assessment online or in person with a psychiatrist, clinical psychologist, or other medical specialist
- Reports from childhood (if available)
The questionnaire and assessment aim to build a picture of how symptoms have presented themselves throughout your life. In many cases, you’ll receive a diagnosis on the day or shortly after.
Autism Assessments
Often more comprehensive, including:
- Standardised questionnaires. Completed and returned in advance of the assessment
- Developmental history info
- Social communication patterns info
- Sensory processing info
- Questionnaire completed by someone who knew you as a child (if possible), or an interview with them
Each assessment is unique, and it’s perfectly fine to ask questions about the process before committing.
Coping With Mixed Feelings
Even when you strongly suspect you’re neurodivergent, seeking a diagnosis can stir up complex feelings. Some clients worry they’re ‘not autistic enough’ or may be told by others that they ‘don’t seem ADHD’. Some fear how an ‘official’ diagnosis might change their relationships or sense of self.
These are all valid concerns. Working with a neurodiversity-affirming therapist or accessing neurodiversity coaching in London can help process these feelings and explore what neurodivergence means for you, beyond just the labels.
Coming to understand oneself as being neurodivergent comes with lots of different emotions. We may feel relief as we start to make sense of what was previously deeply confusing, but also grief as we come to terms with how the struggle was very real, and all the moments others misunderstood us. We may also grieve the person we thought we were or the fact that we are different, and there will always be challenges for us.
Conclusion
If you’re thinking about seeking a diagnosis for ASD, ADHD, or another form of neurodivergence, know that you’re not alone, and you have options. Whether you choose to pursue a formal assessment or not, there are resources and professionals ready to support you. Understanding your brain can be a powerful, liberating act of self-care. Diagnosis is just one part of the journey. Many people identify as neurodivergent without undergoing a formal assessment, instead relying on self-reflection, peer input, or informal screening tools. If that feels right for you and makes sense of your place in the world, that’s enough. Self-understanding doesn’t need a gatekeeper.
At Zoe Clews & Associates, we offer both therapy and coaching that affirm neurodivergent identities, formally diagnosed or not. Our focus is on supporting you to thrive in a way that feels authentic, sustainable, and aligned with your brain’s natural functioning.
Call to Action
If you’re exploring your identity and want support from someone who truly understands, I offer ADHD coaching, autism coaching, and neurodiversity coaching in London, available either online or in person. Whether you’re pre-diagnosis, post-diagnosis, or simply curious, you’re welcome here.
Click here to book a consultation or visit the Neurodiversity Coaching page at Zoe Clews & Associates.