Are you ND Curious?
In my work as a neurodiversity coach and integrative psychotherapist, I often listen to clients who wonder why they feel ‘different’.
Maybe you’ve always felt a little out of step with others. Or maybe you’ve stumbled across a post or video about ADHD or autism and thought, that’s me! If you’re starting to wonder whether you might be neurodivergent, you’re not alone, and you’re probably not imagining things.
In this article, I’ll explain what ‘neurodivergent’ means, and how many of us are discovering this part of ourselves later in life, as well as how you can explore these questions safely and compassionately.
As a therapist offering neurodiversity coaching in London, I support people every day who are already navigating this journey. Here’s what you need to know.
What Does Neurodivergent Mean?
According to the Cambridge Dictionary, neurodivergent means having or related to a type of brain that is often considered as different from what is usual. Neurodivergence is a term that describes natural variations in the human brain and nervous system, as well as differences in how people think, feel, process information, and experience the world. It challenges the idea that there is a single ‘normal’ or ‘right’ way for a brain to function.
Coined by sociologist Judy Singer in the 1990s, in a thesis documenting the emergence of a new ‘disability and social movement’, today it’s used more broadly to describe individuals whose neurological makeup differs from what is considered neurotypical (i.e. the dominant or majority cognitive style).
Neurodivergence can include:
- Autism
- ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder)
- Dyslexia
- Dyspraxia
- Dyscalculia
- Tourette Syndrome
- Sensory Processing Disorder
- OCD and other cognitive differences
Being neurodivergent doesn’t mean someone is ill or broken, it simply means their brain processes things differently. These differences can come with both challenges (like difficulty with executive function or social communication) and strengths (like creativity, attention to detail, or hyperfocus). Many people don’t realise they’re neurodivergent until adulthood because they’ve spent years ‘masking’ or adapting themselves to fit in with others, perhaps at school or work.
Related terms include:
- Neurodiversity: the idea that neurological differences are a natural part of human diversity, not deficits.
- Neurotypical: someone whose brain functions in ways that are socially and culturally expected or typical.
- Masking: when a neurodivergent person hides or suppresses their natural traits to fit in with neurotypical expectations.
Understanding neurodivergence helps us move toward a more inclusive, compassionate view of human minds, one that honours difference, rather than pathologising it.
Why Do People Start Questioning?
Many things may cause someone to begin to question if they might be neurodivergent, including:
- New Information
Perhaps a friend talks about their own experiences of neurodivergence. You might come across a TikTok, podcast, or article and feel like someone is describing your inner world perfectly. The explosion of ND content online can be both validating and overwhelming.
- Life Challenges
Major life changes, such as starting university, becoming a parent, switching careers, or experiencing a crisis, can reveal patterns you’ve managed to cope with so far. During these times, many clients reach out, wondering why life seems more complicated for them than it should or why it appears easier for others.
- Your Children Get Diagnosed
A surprising number of adults start questioning their own neurodivergence after going through the diagnosis process with their children and noticing that they have similar struggles or behaviours to those that have led to their child’s diagnoses.
- Lifelong Feelings of Being Different
You might have always felt like the odd one out. Perhaps you have always found it challenging to understand the unspoken rules of being in the world, or experience intense emotions, or sensory sensitivities. These may be clues that your brain operates differently.
It’s Okay to Be Curious
Being neurodivergent is having a brain that processes information, emotions, and experiences in a way that diverges from what society deems ‘typical’. These differences aren’t inherently negative, many neurodivergent individuals possess exceptional strengths, including creativity, deep focus, pattern recognition, innovative thinking, emotional sensitivity, and a powerful sense of justice. However, it is essential to recognise the challenges of being neurodivergent, particularly in environments that are not designed to accommodate diverse ways of thinking and being and especially when we don’t understand ourselves through this lens and spend vast amounts of energy trying to ‘act normal’.
Many people don’t realise they’re neurodivergent until adulthood. Often, they’ve spent years, sometimes decades, ‘masking’ their traits. Masking is the process of consciously or unconsciously suppressing natural behaviours and instincts to appear more ‘neurotypical’. This can mean forcing eye contact, mimicking social cues, suppressing stimming behaviours, or pushing through sensory overload. It’s a survival strategy, usually developed early in life, to fit in at school, in friendships, or at work.
While masking can help people avoid stigma or social rejection, it comes at a cost. Over time, it can lead to exhaustion, anxiety, low self-esteem, and a loss of identity. Many clients describe a sense of always being ‘on’ or feeling like they’re playing a role rather than being their authentic selves.
The process of coming to understand that you’re neurodivergent can be a powerful turning point. It can bring relief, validation, and a new sense of self-understanding. It opens the door to unmasking, self-acceptance, and being able to advocate for yourself in all environments.
Being neurodivergent isn’t a problem to be fixed. It’s an aspect of one’s self to be recognised, supported, and ultimately celebrated.
What To Do Next
If this article resonates, here are some first steps:
- Start with Self-Reflection
Keep a journal, make voice notes, or just notice your day-to-day experiences. Are there patterns you’ve dismissed or worked around for years?
- Seek Out Neurodivergent Voices and Spaces
Not all information online is helpful, but listening to accounts of lived experiences can be incredibly affirming. Follow neurodivergent creators who prioritise nuance and compassion. Some creators may be professionals, and some may have lived experience. See which ones resonate with you and mix it up.
- Talk to a Professional
A therapist or coach with specialist knowledge of neurodivergence can help you unpack your experiences in a non-pathologising way. For example, if you’re looking for ADHD coaching in London or autism coaching in London, consider working with someone who has a deep understanding of how exploring neurodivergence can be life-changing and comes with a range of emotions.
- Explore Diagnosis (if it feels right)
A formal diagnosis can be validating and open up access to support, but it can be a lengthy or expensive process, and it’s not always essential for self-understanding. For many, self-identification is enough.
Conclusion
If you’ve been wondering whether you might be neurodivergent, that inquisitiveness is worth honouring. You’re not alone, and you’re not ‘making it up’. Find environments where you no longer have to pretend. Being ND-curious is the start of a journey of deeply understanding yourself, one that doesn’t require certainty, only curiosity.
Call to Action
If any of this resonates and you’d like to explore these questions in a safe, validating space, I offer autism, ADHD and neurodiversity coaching in London, both in-person and online. Let’s explore together what your brain needs to thrive. Book your consultation here today.
