Magnetism; that tangible yet often indefinable something that certain people possess.
They may not be the best looking person in the room nor the most powerful, rich or influential but there is just a certain something about this person that is especially engaging.
Think about the most magnetic person you know. Our guess is they’re charming, interesting and they make you feel special; wouldn’t we all want to be perceived that way?
So how then do we become more magnetic?
Well, here at Zoë Clews & Associates HQ, I’ve been thinking about what makes someone magnetic and I’ve come up with the six qualities that top my magnetic hit-list:
Curiosity: It’s no secret that the most interesting people are the most ‘interested’ and curiosity is essential for forging quality relationships. Being fascinated by other people, their work and their life experience is a trait that people will find irresistible. Contrastingly, when someone drones on about their successes and failures, opinions and attitudes without gaining a similar amount of disclosure from others, they rapidly lose their “face value.” People are naturally drawn to those who show a genuine interest in them. So being curious will automatically make you more engaging by default.
Presence: Presence is about being in the present moment. Spending time with a present person and a non-present person is the difference between being with someone who is listening intently to you and someone who is tapping away on their mobile phone. Magnetic people are invariably known to be good listeners and this is one of the ways you will know you’ve spent time with one as you’ll invariably walk away feeling really ‘heard’.
Positivity: Paging Captain Obvious here but spending time with someone whose mental gear is permanently stuck in ‘whinge’ will have the polar opposite effect of magnetism and you’ll find yourself itching to get away. By contrast, exuding positivity is a highly powerful pull. So by upping your optimism you’ll also be fast-tracking your magnetism, ensuring you’re the sort of person that lights up the room when you walk in and not when you walk out!
Compassion: a lot of magnetism is actually about warmth and to be truly effective in creating personal magnetism, the outward behaviours that communicate warmth to others must arise from that most powerful but ineffable quality: a genuinely good heart. Something that cannot be faked but can absolutely be developed. The world can be a harsh place and developing your compassion and empathy for others instantly renders you more magnetic as kindness goes a very long way. The more you develop your empathy, the more you realise that everybody has tough stuff in their lives that they’re grappling with, and the more you’ll want to become an oasis for other people. Someone who lightens their burdens by making them feel understood, safe and rejuvenated even in the briefest of interactions.
Enthusiasm: Almost everyone is captured by enthusiasm as it’s naturally highly infectious. Enthusiasm is often experienced when we are with someone who brings out the best in us. It also is an internal response to having goals and desires that we are working toward fulfilling. People who seem to know what they love & know where they are going in life can captivate the atmosphere when they enter a room. When you are in touch with your passions it’s so much easier to respond to and ignite others enthusiasm too.
Authenticity: Whilst hard to define, you’ll know it’s opposite when you see it, namely someone trying to be someone or something that they are not. Charismatic people have high self esteem and when you have this you are relaxed about exposing your true self – and indeed one of the qualities magnetic people possess is a willingness to be seen, they are comfortable with all of who they are – not just the masks and facades. They are often direct and unafraid to share things about themselves that might even make them look bad. In doing so they convey a sense of humility, honesty and vulnerability, which immediately lowers others defences. If you can do that you’re well on your way to engaging with others too.
So, in conclusion if you want to up your magnetism I strongly suggest focusing on cultivating these qualities within yourself. The good news is not only will you find yourself naturally becoming more magnetic to people – and therefore opportunities – but you will also feel a serious upward surge in your daily well-being too. The better it gets, the better it gets!