I’m talking about how we can use money here. If we have unmet needs on a deeper level, and we don’t acknowledge and identify these, we can walk around with a subtle or not so subtle persistent, feeling of ‘hunger’ or lack of fulfilment which is actually a deeper sense of deprivation. Attempts to fill the hole of deprivation can take many forms such as over-eating, drinking, partying hard and excessive working but one of the most common ways I have seen it play out with clients in my decades practice is financially.
If a sense of inner personal security is what is missing from your life, no amount of internet shopping will make up for that. If you’re craving intimacy excessive gift buying won’t meet that. In a nutshell: if you’re not getting the proper ‘nourishment’ you need from life you can’t make up for that no matter how many hand-bags you binge-buy! You can never get enough of what you don’t need.
There is a big difference between ‘needs’ and ‘wants’, our needs are deeper and are often to do with our growth, our creativity, our path in life and our connection to our ‘self’, our life and others.
You can tell if something is a ‘want’ as it’s usually accompanied by a ‘I must have it right now’ feeling!
Of course it’s really important to have the ‘wants’ and treats in life that make you feel good we all need the baubles too, but if you meet your deeper needs you’ll find the excessive and addictive quality with which these things can be consumed will decrease.
While purchases themselves often do not meet deeper needs, using our resources of time, energy and money in healthy ways can be part of how we do meet them – sometimes with money and many times, in ways that cost nothing at all. When we identify the actual areas of deprivation that exist in our lives, we can begin to form a plan to alleviate them.
If you find yourself caught in the trap of spending and spending to feel better, try identifying the real needs you have, as you are able to do this and begin truly meeting them you’ll find you feel much less ‘hungry’ and your bank balance will look a hell of a lot healthier too!