The Heavy Weight Of Shame

The Heavy Weight Of Shame

Rachel Watson, the girl on the train in Paula Hawkins’ searing bestseller published two years ago, is a woman living on the precipice of her own sanity. She stares into the black abyss of total emotional loss on an almost daily basis.

In the novel, Rachel is a functioning alcoholic divorcee who is kept from being engulfed by the hollowness of her own existence only through an irrational preoccupation with the lives of a couple whose house her train passes every day on its way into London.

It is this thread alone that barely tethers her to the here and now and the reality of who she is and what she stands for.

‘I want to drag knives over my skin, just to feel something other than shame,’ she says. ‘But I’m not even brave enough for that.’

Shame is a powerful force and, of course, it’s not just addiction that fuels it.

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Those New Year’s ‘Saboteurs’

Those New Year's 'Saboteurs'

Many of you will have made New Year’s Resolutions, and I’m sure you were determined and steadfast in your absolute conviction that you would carry them through. But as the weeks pass, you can feel yourself waning with a never ending stream of justification as to why you are unable to keep on track, with exercise, healthy eating, reducing alcohol intake or all three.

You may well feel that sense of despair, disappointment and frustration, because there is a part of you that was absolutely convinced that you meant business this time. You declared it to all those around you, because you felt in that moment that you could trust yourself that nothing would get in your way. But it has, and you may well be wondering what went wrong. Well, let me explain about your ‘saboteur’.  There are different parts of you: there is your conscious mind, the part of you that makes the decisions and uses willpower and intent to carry them through to a conclusion. Then there is your subconscious mind, and this is the part that is basically running the show when it comes to making significant changes in your life. Unless your powerful subconscious is in agreement, it will likely sabotage all your efforts, simply because it wants to maintain the status quo. It is a force to be reckoned with, and will not relinquish control unless it is convinced that your lofty idealistic changes are for your highest and best interest.

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Get Slim The Easy Way

Get Slim The Easy Way

“There is no diet that can do what healthy eating does”.

This is a very true statement, and one that has been my mantra for my weight loss clients as far back as I can remember. I have seen many clients here at Zoë Clews & Associates, who initially arrive disillusioned after years of one disappointing diet after another.  What I call the ‘The Great Diet Delusion’ is sold in such a way that many people spend decades caught in the loop, believing that the latest new fad is the answer to their weight loss prayers, only to return to their previous habits after realising that it’s simply not sustainable.

The problem with dieting is that your subconscious often has another agenda: to the subconscious dieting communicates deprivation and starvation. So, when you’ve steadfastly worked so hard to lose those pounds by counting calories, and drinking diet ‘shakes’, as soon as you stop, the weight piles back on again. You have created the fat for a reason, and your subconscious, the true powerhouse when it comes to change, needs to know that it is safe and approrpriate to let the weight go.  Trying to control the outcome with your conscious mind, will create stress and anxiety and prevent you from acheiving the results you desire and deserve.

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Additional Credits

Video by Weeks360.

Photography by Liz Bishop Photography.

Production by Mark Norman at Little Joe Media and Joanne Brooks.

Hair by Jonny Albutt.

Make up by Olly Fisk and Nabeel Hussain.